Belinda’s waiting game – keeping calm & staying positive

Well, isn’t that easier said than done! One of the five eggs harvested made it to the blastocyst stage. According to the scientist it was perfect, so our embryo transfer went ahead as scheduled. Again, so exciting! I loved seeing our little blastocyst (aka bubba) under the microscope then being vacuumed into a tube, the scientist yelling, “got it” and then, “clear” after it was returned to its home in my hopefully inviting uterus. That day you couldn’t keep the smile of my face. And I could feel stuff happening, down there. But the next day, my emotions dipped, I couldn’t feel anything, and I panicked, “what if it doesn’t work out?” For the past week I have crashed back and forth from both of those emotions, excited – panicked – excited – panicked – excited, THIS IS EXHAUSTING! I’ve been looking for signs of life, but there is no way to be sure, and there’s nothing I can do to control the outcome. The nurses are silent, the scientists have done their part, and everything seems awfully quiet. In hindsight, I would have organised more relaxing activities and stress-free times during the waiting period (I have had a decent bout of ovary discomfort and pain too). So at least I know for next time, but deep down, I’m hoping that there won’t need to be a next time, and that in another 4 days I’ll be cheering down the phone as the nurse gives me the good news; “bubba’s settled in & is still growing”.

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